April 07, 2022
Dear Mothers,
We have heard from some of you that you’d like to know how to help if your daughter is being “bullied” in school or in the van about her skin tone, weight, height or differences in appearance. So we have put together a brief note to help you.
If your daughter is darker than average, taller than average, skinnier or heavier than average, then sadly it is what she is going to be teased about. Other children have other differences and they are teased about that.
It is almost impossible to put a stop to it forever. We will definitely have a word with our teachers and students. We will investigate the matter and plan stories and lessons and group discussions around these issues, but we cannot be absolutely certain that our efforts will be sustainable. What is best for your daughter in the long term is that she learns to love her body and skin the way it is. And to feel confident about her appearance.
Why? Because, it is no fun to tease or bully a confident person. It is no fun to insult someone who hears the insult and instead of being vulnerable and showing pain and hurt, just laughs back at you. The “bully” or the person “teasing” doesn’t get any encouragement and so will just stop and leave your daughter alone. The best thing for her is to learn how to conduct herself with confidence. Confidence can overcome almost anything if given a chance.
Of course it is not easy, but you know you have an important role here. Think about it please. Is there anyone in the family or extended family who favours fair children who are of average weight and height? Do they get better treatment? How about you? How do you really feel about your child’s appearance? Mothers want their daughters to be “perfect” in their appearance and that’s okay. Of course we want what is best for them. However, we do need to accept and love them the way they are, don’t we?
Then tell your daughter with a smile that she looks good. Appreciate her when she gets dressed for school or to go out with you. After a while, a nod of approval will be enough for her as she gradually gains confidence that the most important people in her life approve of her and accept her as she is.
As you well know, this is not easy for your daughter, this is a difficult lesson for her. If you choose to go down this path we are suggesting, she will learn how to control her emotions and feelings and won’t get easily upset. What you can do is every time she has the smallest success, every time she handles the teasing and abuse with maturity and grace, appreciate her efforts. It will get easier over time. And rest assured, we will continue to do our bit in school.
Together we will “Say NO to bullying!”
CPC Team